Sitting in Frontline tonight, I didn't expect to be convicted. It was a communion message on forgiveness. Mike Kelsey (one of the pastors) taught out of Colossians 2:
"And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."
Colossians 2:13-14
Two powerful verses, but verses I've heard before, and know well and (think I) understand. After driving back to DC from Ohio I was tired and not ready to be engaged in worship or in the sermon. Of course, it's times like these, in moments where we think we know everything, that we are often hit smack in the face with how little we know and understand. For better or worse, I've been a Christ follower nearly my entire life. My faith has gone through valleys and over mountaintops but it's always provided the foundation for my life. The priviledge of growing up in the church isn't something I take lightly, but sometimes I think it's made me overly confident in my understanding of a lot of basic Christian principles.
The older I get the more I realize I have a lot of head knowledge but not as much soul knowledge of Christ. Forgiveness is a prime example and the Lord reminded me tonight of how much more I have to learn about forgiving like He forgives. I think I've even written on this blog how forgiveness comes naturally to me. In some ways this is true. I typically don't hold grudges or stay angry very long, but not "being mad" anymore isn't forgiveness--which is what Mike Kelsey jarred me out of my seat with tonight. It's easy to not be mad at someone anymore, but real forgiveness--Colossians 2:14 forgiveness--is entirely diffrent. It's looking a person in the eye and saying you are no longer indebted to me for whatever sin or crime or hurt you've inflicted on me. It's extending the grace Christ extended us on the cross, by bearing the payment for everything we owed, owe, and will continue to owe God.
When I reconsider forgiveness in this way, I realize I'm not as good at it as I like to think. Sure, it's easy to forgive the small things. But the people who've hurt me beyond the superficial, by what they've said or done or not done to me, those people I don't forgive quite as easily, especially when I feel like that person isn't genuinely sorry for what they did. Time numbs anger, it dulls hate, but time doesn't enable forgiveness. Only our heavenly Father can equip us to forgive unconditionally, in the way He has forgiven us with Christ's sacrifice. Once again, it isn't about me being able to do this or that, it's about me being able to surrender my hurt. It's about Christ filling me up and showing me what real forgiveness means in a practical sense.
Hard to realize that I'm not there yet with a few people...
"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" Colossians 3:12-13
No comments:
Post a Comment